• Brenda Ridgley

The Bullseye of the Friendship Target is YOU! 

For my book, Lady and the Tribe, How to Create Empowering Friendship Circles, I researched relationships and with the data created my own "Friendship Target". It is a visual representation of the layers of connection to include where and with whom we belong. Today I want to share about the Bullseye.

The center is YOU - the heart of the Friendship Target! You are the core, the choicest, most essential and most vital part of your sisterhood. Your id, ego, super-ego, identity, inner being, psyche, soul, essence, consciousness, and self to name a few descriptive words. We discussed this in chapter 4, the Leader of your Tribe. You are #1 and a loving relationship with yourself is essential. At some point in your life, maybe as a young child, you were told that you are NOT the center of the universe. They said, “Stop being selfish, get over yourself, it’s not all about YOU!” You probably believed this story. You may have felt a little miffed at first, then embarrassed and maybe even ashamed of your unwarranted self-interest. From this experience you adapted and began to put others' needs ahead of your own. Well friends, I am here to tell you that proclamation was rubbish as was the habit of placing you and your needs last. We share the universe with a hundred billion galaxies within our observable universe. We share this earth with 7.8 billion other human beings. We are all perfect and equal as created by God but, make no mistake, you are the center of your own universe as am I. This is true not only psychologically but scientifically. Psychologically, we each have our own perspective. We may interpret what is going on around us very differently based on our life experience. There is no other way for us to be and it is not a selfish standpoint. Our point of view is just that. Scientifically, there must be a center when a volume of space is measured. Because you reside in the punctual center of your experience, you in fact are the center of your own universe defined by what we observe. So, while it is true that everything in other’s lives is not about you, everything in your life most certainly is. We should all lean into this reality. By doing so, we can make choices more intentionally that line us up with our goals and create the highest version of our self and life experience. You are worthy of love and all good things. What tendencies have become habits in your life that don’t honor you? What areas of your life do you put yourself last and why? If you regularly practice self-sacrifice, it is likely not benefiting anyone as much as it is harming your dignity. Identify these habits and without guilt, begin to choose differently. Abandon patterns of selflessness that don’t serve you.

To re-cap, before all others you must know yourself, honor her and care for her without shame or excuse. That is why we spent some time journaling answers about your goals, dreams and perspective. I hope you are reviewing your work, honoring the time you invested in the process, and are considering your answers daily. You need to get-to-know you. You need to love you. You are the substance, sum, essence, meat, gist, marrow, nitty-gritty, and heart and soul of your community. Of course, the core includes only one member. You ARE the center of your own universe and that is as it should be! The world most certainly DOES revolve around you, and don’t you forget it! For more on this topic, I will refer you to a blog I wrote a few years ago called YOU are #1. It's a quick read, I hope you enjoy it! Ladies, I invite you to join our online community the Emerging Eagles Facebook Group! There we share a safe place to connect and get to know each other. Join us, we would love to see you there!

When three or more gather, we are Tribe.

All my love,

Brenda


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